i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
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What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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