yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
