Its about making memories worth repressing
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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