Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
