wrigley field is MILF paradise
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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