Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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