I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
