im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize