so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
