her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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