did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
