Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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