It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
no, he came in my armpit
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
