i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
