Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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