She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
