I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
