I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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