Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
