therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
