This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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