someone get that fucking seahorse.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
