I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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