ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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