I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
