I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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