I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Still dying that you shit outside
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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