I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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