K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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