why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
