jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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