haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
