How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
