oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
