i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
