I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
