I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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