I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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