Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
