there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
