Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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