Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
