I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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