The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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