I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
