wanna go halves on a baby?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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