The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I understand Curling. That high.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
