Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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