puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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