If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
