Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
