I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
two words: eviction party
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
