omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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