If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
