idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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